I’d be lying if I said there are people out there who do not experience rejection, rejection in any form. Rejection haunted us since infancy. From the day our parents said “no” to the ice cream cone to the heartbreak after a guy or girl turns down your dinner-and-movie invite. Sometimes rejection can hurt so much that it affects our physical being and we spend our insomniac nights searching for ways to improving our dating game. But dating isn’t the focus of this blog post.

As recent graduates, society pressures us — primarily, capitalism — to find Big Girl/Big Boy jobs immediately. We spend hours sitting in front of a screen and looking at newspapers with resumes and cover letters at hand to find that open door. If you’re like me you probably applied to over 10 job openings and 10 internship positions. I had one job offer and I turned it down. I had one unpaid internship offer, turned that down, too. They were prime opportunities and I was too picky. After the 18 rejections I found my self-esteem at an all-time low and spent my free time working out and reading — and spending money I didn’t have.

Oh, did I mention I was unsuccessful in my Board of Certification exam? Rejection after rejection after rejection can destroy a person’s self-esteem and self-worth. Of course, I wallowed in my self-pity for a couple of weeks and kept myself busy. But I really would not have changed these past three months as an unemployed college graduate.

My 18 or so rejections took me back to my freshman year of varsity volleyball in high school. It was the worse volleyball season of my entire life. We didn’t win one game. Our coach hated us. We ran. We got yelled out. My coach told me to walk out the door if I couldn’t take it. I can’t remember even one encouraging word from my coach that year, only my teammates. I even thought of quitting volleyball, but I didn’t. The high school hired a new head volleyball coach and our season turned around. We made it the Final Four of the state tournament and attended the next couple years after.

One more example. If you know me, you know I have the knees of an 80-year-old woman. I experienced SIX knee injuries and underwent TWO knee surgeries resulting in rehabbing and reconditioning my lower body EIGHT times. Frustration cannot describe the first three injuries. Kudos to the people I love who constantly encouraged and motivated me, especially my parents and younger sister. I even lost faith in my spirituality, which is something I held on to since my childhood. When all hope was lost I relied on the Creator and I was lost when I couldn’t.

I ask you recent graduates and those of you who experience rejection time and time again to think of only positive thoughts and be the annoying optimist! Not only will your thoughts turn into actions, but another door will open. A door that may not have existed before.

If rejection teaches you one thing it is resilience. Come back harder than the first, second, or third time. Cry for five minutes and figure out a new plan. Learn from your mistake and move on. Keep your head up and try again! Resilience is stronger than rejection.

I am only 23 and unemployed, but with the amount of experience I have, the number of successful people surrounding me who I received advice from, and my recent degree, I truly believe things happen for a reason. We don’t know where we will be in five or 10 years. We plan for it, but it never happens. Our paths guide us down a path better than we imagined.  As Steve Jobs, a college dropout and successful entrepreneur, once said,

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”